If I Stay- Newtmas Fanfiction
by Artemis loves Gay Ships
Summary: Newt is driving around and ends up in a fatal car accident. (More inside). Thomas loves Newt to death. Newt is in a coma and.. I write dis now.. ;-; dis is a one shot by the way.. Just by";-;" being here you know it's a sad one. So... HOLD ONTO YOUR FEELS!


Newt was driving alone, like any other time he was stressed. He often wandered on dirt roads contemplating life. The drive was about to end and he was already going to head back to the place he lived in. And with the (sometimes annoying) people he lived with. The Gladers. The one whom he grew close with Thomas. Sweet Thomas. Newt had been in love with Thomas for a while now-. Wait. Love?! Since when did he love Thomas?! Last time it was like.. But if he just liked him,why did he write a note and confess his feelings for him? GAHH! He banged his fists on the steering wheel.. Just then his phone buzzed.. It was Thomas, but Newt had him under "Deh Bae". He groaned in frustration, and picked up with a stupid smile on his face.

"Hello!" Newt said with glee in his voice.

"Hey Newt!" He said, "What're you doin'?"

"Nothin' much Tommy just drivin' around.."

"Oh.. Well you might wanna head back here.. Minho just bought the biggest pizza! It's so fucking huge!

"Holy shuck.. That's bloody awesome!" He tried to share the excitement, but he couldn't. He was going to confess.

"I know right..." A long silence happened between the two..

"Hey.. Uh.. Tommy, can I tell you something?" Newt asked with a shaky voice..

Thomas' voice went soft, "Yea, Newt.. I actually have to tell you something too.."

"Well.. I-I.. I've been.. It's kinda complicated really.. But I.. I..." Newt was cut off by a "HONNNNNNNNNNNNNK!" Startled, Newt swerved into the other lane. And that was the last thing he remembered. Until his world faded into a black abyss..

"Newt?" Thomas said from the other line, "Newt!?" He began to freak out, tears surfaces in his eyes.. He tried one last time.. "Newt?..."

He lay completely still. His vision a blur. Commotion all around him. Newt stood up shakily. A fatal car crash in front of him. He looked around and saw many people crowding the area.

"Hey, what's going on!?" He yelled. He was ignored by everyone..

 _It's a dream_ _.._ He thought. He pinched himself.. Nothing.

"Newt, wake up!" He ran his fingers through his hair. "Wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeup.."

Blood. All over the street. He looked in the place where the bloodstain came from. People crowded all around the are in which the blood came from.

"The bloody hell is going on?" He said to himself.

he peered through the crowd, and he saw himself. Lying in a pool of blood. He noticed the Gladers holding Thomas back.

"LET ME GO!" Thomas screamed at Minho and Gally. They refused.

"He's a flatline!" Someone shouted.

"I'm dead?.."

Thomas broke free for the arms of the two Gladers, and walked toward Newt's dead body.

"Newt.. Wake up.."

newt knelt down to his own body, right next to Thomas. Blood here, blood there, blood everywhere. He touched himself slightly and he was back in his body.. Agony shot through him like a rocket.. His eyes opened slowly..

"Newt," Thomas said, "It's okay I'm right here.." Newt shifted a weak smile. His limp in his leg feeling worse than usual. He hadn't been in this much pain since he attempted suicide when he was 14, which caused the limp. Paramedics moved Thomas back, who was holding Newt's hand. New t's eyes had fluttered shut.

"Newt!" He shouted once again as they placed Newt into an ambulance and took him away..

 **Newt's POV**

I'm scared and in pain. My ankle making in wore and I'm hating every bloody minute. I can feel blood flowing from many places. Tommy is holding onto my hand as tight as possible. I feel a sense of comfort from him as he holds onto my hand. I'm not going to die like this. He is not going to witness my bloody death. The one I love is not going to watch me die such a gory death. He knows about my attempt at suicide. When I told him I remember the tears in his eyes and telling me that he's glad I'm here.. My vision gets blurry as Tommy calls my name.. I can.. No.. Yes I can. . I can sense as if I'm being put into an ambulance as Tommy yells louder for me.. Is Tommy going to be okay after what happened right now? I hope he doesn't blame himself for this klunk.. It's my fault.. I can't stay awake any longer... But I have to... For...Tommy...

 **10 hours later...**

 **Thomas' POV**

We've been here for over 10 hours and they haven't given us any shucking in formation on Newt.. All we know is he's in the ICU, but other than that. Nothing. My eyes are red and face tear stained. Everyone is already asleep. I look at the clock. 11:56. Minho and Teresa are asleep on a couch. Gally, Winston, and Zart all passed out after having a chugging contest on who could drink a water bottle faster.. Frypan, Ben, Chuck, and both Med-jacks, Clint and Jeff, are also here.. All of them are asleep as well.. Everyone is her. Most of them have given up their hope. I haven't.. GODDAMMIT! I'm just so worried for Newt. I mean he's the only one who didn't give me a hard time my first day.. I feel tears threaten to surface in my eyes.. No, I can't cry.. I don't know how I'm going to tell him though.. What happened a few weeks back.. I'll tell him when he's back on his feet. What if its too late by then? I get up from my chair and leave the Gladers as I'm on my way.. To see Newt...

 **Newt's POV**

Once again I am out of my body. It's midnight. I am alone. I dunno what's even bloody wrong with me, but I'm pretty beaten up. There's an adjustable bandage wrapped around my forearm, which is drenched in blood. An ice pack on my lower chest, and bruises covering me as well. Worst of all. I'm dying. Needles in my hand giving me who knows what type of drugs.. I'm a mess. I see Tommy is here.

"Tommy.." I say, but he can't hear me. Or see me.

He pulls up a chair next to the bedside, and stares at my beaten up self for a few seconds before he sobs my name..

"Don't do this Tommy.." He takes my hand with the two needles in it.

"Newt," he manages to get out, "please stay. You might not know this but, you're the one who welcomed me, and kept me from doing dumb shit.." He gives as all laugh.

He continues, "If you stay, I'll do anything you want. I'll care for you, but if you need me to go away, I'll do that too. I know it'll suck, but I'd do it.. I'll let you go, if you stay." I would stay, I just bloody don't know how. But if I stay, will I be able to bear this crushing pain. If I stay, if I stay, it's my choice. The Gladers are also here, but Tommy doesn't seem to notice, they give him space.

"Newt, I don't know where I'd be without you. And hell we don't even know are last names. Please stay.." He finishes. I can feel tears coming. I don't know how I can stay, I can't leave Tommy. I love him. Minho is holding onto Teresa who is also crying. Gally standing there with shame on his shuck face from all the times he called me "limpy". Tommy begins to cry again. If I could stay I would in a Greivers heartbeat. I just don't know how.. I take a seat next to Tommy.

"Tommy," I say with the slightest whisper, "I'm gonna let go.." Just before I'm about to he speaks.

"There's something I wanted to tell you, when you called." He sniffs. "A few weeks back, I felt a sharp pain in my hip, like someone stabbed a knife there and left it. And it was so shuck bad, I came here and they scanned me... It's cancerous. There's nothing they can do about it, it's too late Newt. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you sooner.." He's dying. Just. Like. Me. I run past the Gladers and out of the ICU with hate of this bloody life. My limp is gone which makes me run faster, just like when I was a runner in the Glade. I run until I collapse in an empty hallway, all out of fight. I fell to the ground on my knees..

"It's over! It's all over!" I scream as I bang on the cold floor. I yell loud enough for every one to hear, yet no one does. The floor is like ice as I cry on it.. After a minute or so I calm down and slowly walk back to the ICU. Nobody has moved since I ran with no place to go.

"Newt," Tommy begins, "If you want to go, I want you to know its okay. I understand. I'm sorry I keep telling you to stay.. It's okay if you want to go.. But you still have us. You STILL have a family, Newt." He sniffs," I LOVE you, Newt." If you love me, let me GO! Let go Newt! I can't stay! My bloody limp is going to be worse than before! Who knows what kind of drugs I have to take! Who knows what the bloody hell is wrong with me! Tommy lays his head on my abdomen, still holding my hand. I touch myself and this is it. The pressure of his head laying on my side is like a gunshot wound.. Agonizing. I can feel pain again. I'm back. I open my eyes and he squeezes my hand. I give a tighter squeeze back.

"I love you, Tommy..." I say, and this time he can hear me. Then close my eyes, and let go...

 **Thomas' POV**

I hear the heart monitor lose the beat of Newt's heart rate. I squeeze his hand.. He squeezes back. I look up. His eyes open at a fast motion as if waking up from a nightmare.

"I love you, Tommy..." He says.

His eyes flutter shut, and the monitor gives an ear splitting _BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP..._

Newt's gone. At 2:50 on September 7th. A tear falls from my eye.. People who I assume are doctors and nurses pull me back.

"Thomas.." Teresa says lightly, her voice sounds soft as it fades.. And that's the last time I see Newt. I realize this is my fault. He's dead because of me. I'm dying anyways. At least we'll be together..

 **A/N: So yea.. I wrote this.. This is also my first fanfiction so I'm sorry if its klunk. Like the reference? (250). Ask me anything you would like.. I'm New(t) to and I hope you all enjoy my fanfictions and thank you for reading! Bye loves!**

 **-That Newtmas Fangirl**


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